The Above is the link to some writing by Ram Dass on how we can change perspective on dealing with those difficult people in our lives.
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| Transformation |
If somebody is a problem for you, it’s not that they should
change, it’s that you need to change. If they’re a problem for themselves that’s
their karma, if they’re causing you trouble that’s your problem on yourself.
So, in other words when Christ is crucified, he says “forgive them, they don’t
know what they’re doing”, they’re not a problem for him, he’s trying to get
them out of being a problem for themselves, because he’s clear.
Your job is to clear
yourself. In ideal situations you would clear yourself within the situation,
but very often it’s too thick and you can’t do that.
Now, what you do then is you pull back and you do the stuff
you do in the morning or at night before you go to work, you do the stuff on
weekends, you do the stuff that quiets you down and then each time you go into
the situation to where you have to work, you lose it again.
And then you go
home and you see how you lost it, and you examine it, and then you go the next
day and you lose it again, and you go home and you keep a little diary “how did
I lose it today”, and you saw that, and then you go and you do it again, and
after a while as you’re starting to lose it you don’t buy in so much.
You start
to watch the mechanics of what it is that makes you lose it all the time.
If I’m not appreciated, that’s your problem that you don’t
appreciate me.
Unless I need your love, then it’s my problem. So my needs are
what are giving you the power over me.
Those people’s power over you to take
you out of your equanimity and love and consciousness has to do with your own attachments
and clingings of mind. That’s your work on yourself, that’s where you need to meditate
more, it’s where you need to reflect more, it’s where you need a deeper
philosophical framework, it’s where you need to cultivate the witness more,
it’s where you need to work on practicing opening your heart more in
circumstances that aren’t optimum.
This is your work.
You were given a heavy
curriculum, that’s it.
There’s no blame, it’s not even wrong, it’s just what
you’re given. You hear what I’m saying? It’s interesting. Can you all hear that
one?
